Loss.... and life

LOSS:
Two days ago I noticed that my dove, Indy was acting strangely. This is never a good sign in a bird. By the time birds "act sick", it is usually too late. She lasted another 24 hours and then quietly passed away.

I am extremely surprised at how hard her passing has hit me.

She has a long life, twice that of doves in the wild. On July 4, 1994 while my husband was outside working, he noticed a tiny baby bird laying on the ground. He considered just moving it into the bushes and letting "nature take it's course", but instead, he called me out of the house. I picked up that naked, ugly, thing that was cold and still and near death. I brought it in the house and warmed it and force-fed it and pretty soon it started to perk up. I remember as clear as if it was yesterday, Scott telling me..."you won't be able to save it...you might as well leave it alone." I have a stubborn streak....I was GOING to prove him wrong....and I did. I didn't even know what kind of bird it was until it started feathering out.

Because we found her on Independence Day...that became her name. "Indy" for short.

A curious thing about doves is that they mate for life. Indy bonded to me and I became her "mate". It was so funny that whenever Scott would go near her she would peck at him, but whenever I would talk to her she would flutter her wings at me and coo.

We didn't even know if she was a boy or girl for a long time, but then one day...there was an egg in her cage! I blew that egg out and I still have it. She would drop eggs periodically for years after that.

She was a very easy bird. She didn't squawk or make any loud noise, just her low gentle coo. Doves are one of the few birds that live on a seed only diet, so I didn't have to worry about providing bugs or veggies. Dove swallow the seeds whole, so she was a fairly non-messy bird (as birds go). She was so easy, that sometimes when life would get hectic, or when my kids were babies, I would almost forget about her. I feel really bad about that.

Now she is gone. After 16 years of her gentle presence I am feeling the hole in my house where she always was. It is difficult. I feel so stupid for getting so upset about losing a pet. I've lost pets before. It's not like she was a person or anything, so why do the memories of her bring tears? When will I be able to smile when thinking of her, and not cry?

I don't know if animals go to Heaven, I really don't. The Bible doesn't say. I hope they do, I really do. When I spoke with my husband about it he said, that he doesn't know either, but whatever the case is we have to be confident that it is what is best because God doesn't make mistakes. I still think that at least pets should make it to Heaven, but I'm not God so what I think doesn't really matter. I trust that whatever God decides about it IS best.

LIFE:
A week or so ago my parakeets that I have been trying to breed started dropping eggs again. So, I put the nest box back on the cage. I've decided to take a totally different approach to it this time. Instead of following them closely and documenting everything, I am going to just ignore them! Maybe my "hovering" made them nervous! LOL So now, I only check the nest box every couple of days. I checked yesterday and there are SEVEN EGGS!!! Rosy is spending a lot more time in the nest box this time too. In fact, yesterday when I was changing their water and fresh foods, she didn't even leave the nest box. Maybe this time we will have little babies!

My 2 cents on scents....

This morning while I was shaving my legs, I got to thinking about scents. Now I know you are asking,"What does shaving legs have to do with scents?" Let me explain....

My ultimate all-time favorite fruit is mango. So, I am inevitably drawn to anything that has the word "mango" on it. Shampoo, lotions, foods....anything with mango on the label winds up in my shopping cart (can we all say "impulse buyer!!). While shopping Monday, I had "women's shaving cream" written on my list, so I proceed down the shaving aisle and my eyes are immediately drawn to this lovely orange bottle of Skintastic - "Flirty Mango" shaving cream. It, practically on its own accord, jumped into my cart. This all brings us back to shaving my legs this morning. Let me just say, that whoever invented putting scents into shaving cream should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize! (Why not...it's been given to folks for less reason!) As all women know...shaving legs is NOT a very exhilarating experience. In fact, I totally rebel against it during the winter months. Somehow, shaving with something that smells like fresh, juicy, lovely mangos completely changes the experience! I ALMOST wish that the hair on my legs would grow faster, so I could shave them every day, just so I can smell the shaving cream.

Yes, I am obsessed with scents. Scents are a source of immense enjoyment for me. I don't have a very big nose, but my nose "leads" me through life. I haven't thoroughly enjoyed an experience unless I've used my nose. I LOVE things that smell good. I will not buy a product unless I like the smell of it. Some people just grab the first bottle on the shelf, or they have their certain favorites that they buy every time, never deviating. Not I...I will spend 15 minutes in the shampoo or body wash aisle smelling all the different scents before making my selection. I love it when new fragrances come out...so I have something new to smell. I do have my favorites. Like lavender, for example. I buy lavender EVERYTHING. If it is a cleaning product, laundry product, air freshener, etc. it will 9 times out of 10 be lavender. Another of my favorites is vanilla....LOVE IT! Don't even get me started on candles! I have them burning practically year round. My husband just can't understand my obsession with them. Maybe it's a Venus/Mars thing.

I use my nose for more productive things as well. I am obsessed with smelling the meat before I cook it, smelling the milk before I pour it, etc. I even smell my rice milk or soy milk before I drink it, even though I don't know what spoiled rice milk or soy milk smells like. I think I may be OCD about these particular things. And, honestly, how many mothers out there have NEVER smelled their babies butts to see if they have a poopy diaper? That is a prerequisite to motherhood. I can truthfully say that I am very glad that that particular prerequisite of parenting only lasts for a couple of short years!

Not only do I love scents, I have a very sensitive nose. I smell things that most other people don't. I can smell the neighbor a mile down the road when they burn leaves. This sensitivity can be a blessing as well as a curse! Bad smells affect me more severely than most people in the form of headaches and upset stomachs. I could NEVER have been married to a hog farmer...my poor nose just couldn't have handled it!

Just think about your nose for a minute. It is SUCH an amazing organ! Not only does it break up your face and make a person more pleasant to look at. It can be used to warn you of danger, can prevent food poisoning, prevents diaper rash, brings enjoyment, and can also illicit memories. Sometimes when my church has a carry-in dinner...all those smells mixed together instantly brings to mind the school cafeteria (not usually a pleasant memory). The nose also works in conjunction with your tongue. Eating is not merely an act of the mouth, the nose is also used to enjoy tastes.

I have a couple of family members who have "difficulty" with scents. My older sister has chronic sinusitis/allergies. Because of this, she has lost her sense of smell, and thus her sense of taste. She can literally taste nothing but sweet, sour, salty, and bitter. Because she cannot smell her food, there is no distinction. My sister-in-law is allergic to scents. If she smells any kind of "artificial" smells I.E. candles, perfume, air freshener, etc. she has an asthma attack and can't breathe. I feel so sorry for both of them! I just can't imagine a life without smells! Imagine for a moment not being able to smell a luscious piece of fruit before you eat it, or never being able to smell a steaming cup of coffee in the morning! Or imagine never smelling or tasting chocolate!!! Yes, of all the senses...I don't think I could live without the sense of smell!

So, the next time you smell something wonderful, take a few moments to thank God, the maker of all things for blessing you with the sense of smell!