Loss.... and life

LOSS:
Two days ago I noticed that my dove, Indy was acting strangely. This is never a good sign in a bird. By the time birds "act sick", it is usually too late. She lasted another 24 hours and then quietly passed away.

I am extremely surprised at how hard her passing has hit me.

She has a long life, twice that of doves in the wild. On July 4, 1994 while my husband was outside working, he noticed a tiny baby bird laying on the ground. He considered just moving it into the bushes and letting "nature take it's course", but instead, he called me out of the house. I picked up that naked, ugly, thing that was cold and still and near death. I brought it in the house and warmed it and force-fed it and pretty soon it started to perk up. I remember as clear as if it was yesterday, Scott telling me..."you won't be able to save it...you might as well leave it alone." I have a stubborn streak....I was GOING to prove him wrong....and I did. I didn't even know what kind of bird it was until it started feathering out.

Because we found her on Independence Day...that became her name. "Indy" for short.

A curious thing about doves is that they mate for life. Indy bonded to me and I became her "mate". It was so funny that whenever Scott would go near her she would peck at him, but whenever I would talk to her she would flutter her wings at me and coo.

We didn't even know if she was a boy or girl for a long time, but then one day...there was an egg in her cage! I blew that egg out and I still have it. She would drop eggs periodically for years after that.

She was a very easy bird. She didn't squawk or make any loud noise, just her low gentle coo. Doves are one of the few birds that live on a seed only diet, so I didn't have to worry about providing bugs or veggies. Dove swallow the seeds whole, so she was a fairly non-messy bird (as birds go). She was so easy, that sometimes when life would get hectic, or when my kids were babies, I would almost forget about her. I feel really bad about that.

Now she is gone. After 16 years of her gentle presence I am feeling the hole in my house where she always was. It is difficult. I feel so stupid for getting so upset about losing a pet. I've lost pets before. It's not like she was a person or anything, so why do the memories of her bring tears? When will I be able to smile when thinking of her, and not cry?

I don't know if animals go to Heaven, I really don't. The Bible doesn't say. I hope they do, I really do. When I spoke with my husband about it he said, that he doesn't know either, but whatever the case is we have to be confident that it is what is best because God doesn't make mistakes. I still think that at least pets should make it to Heaven, but I'm not God so what I think doesn't really matter. I trust that whatever God decides about it IS best.

LIFE:
A week or so ago my parakeets that I have been trying to breed started dropping eggs again. So, I put the nest box back on the cage. I've decided to take a totally different approach to it this time. Instead of following them closely and documenting everything, I am going to just ignore them! Maybe my "hovering" made them nervous! LOL So now, I only check the nest box every couple of days. I checked yesterday and there are SEVEN EGGS!!! Rosy is spending a lot more time in the nest box this time too. In fact, yesterday when I was changing their water and fresh foods, she didn't even leave the nest box. Maybe this time we will have little babies!