Who's in control?

While my budgies are quietly incubating their eggs, I thought I would step away from that topic for awhile and write about something else.

The question of the day is Who is in control? I, like most people, want to be in control. I want everything in my little world to go according to "my plans." In striving for control, I have discovered so many things that are completely out of my control.

About 9 years ago, my thyroid gland decided to take a permanent vacation. Since that time I have been on medication to control it. Sometimes the medication works properly, and the problem is "in control". Other times the medicine doesn't work, and I feel completely "out of control." But really, in both cases....who is really "in control"?

About 2 years ago, my digestive tract decided to take a long and unscheduled vacation. (What's with all my body parts taking vacations without me!?!?) There were many times at the beginning where I thought I was literally going to die. Talk about being totally "out of control!" There was nothing I, nor the doctors could do to "control" the situation. It has taken many, many hours of detective work, trial and error, scouring the internet, and talking to health food professionals to ease my pain and regain some "control" over what my body does. Even though I have many more good days....who is really "in control"?

Several months ago, I approached a friend, out of love and concern, about something that I had noticed. This friend is a fellow Christian, and a younger woman. I felt that I should practice
Titus 2:3 "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." (particularly vs.4&5) This friend got very angry, and has not spoken to me since. I mourn the loss of this friendship, and I feel completely "out of control". Although I know that my motive were pure, it does not stop me from wishing that I could change the situation, that I could regain "control".

So who IS in control? I know that ultimately, it is God who is in control. Does it make it any easier to accept the situations that I can't control?....Yes. Does it make it any easier to let go of these situations and LET God have control?.....No. It is something that I struggle with every day. But it is something that I strive for.....to let God have complete control, to trust that He knows what is best for me.

Today I have been very depressed and upset. I have been trying to lose a few pounds before Summer gets here. I have been very diligently exercising 6 days a week, and watching what I eat. The scale has NOT been my friend! I got on the scale this morning, only to discover that I had gained back 3 of the 5 pounds that I had lost! My daughter Olivia approached me a little while ago and said, "Mom, you've been keeping something from me all day. What is it?" So I told her that I gained 3 pounds. She said, "Well, God must have wanted you to gain them." WOW! Out of the mouth of babes! Oh, to have such a faith as that! To simply surrender everything to God and trust Him completely!

Though life will continue to throw me curve balls, I pray that I will learn my daughter's childlike faith and will remember that whatever happens, "God must have wanted it....", that God knows best.